I’ve come to discover an archetypal root that explains the difference between liberated, peaceful people and corrupt authoritarians. The root is self-determination. The start of self-determination is autonomy, so the individual must claim his autonomy and aim to grow his strength in acting on it. And others must respect his autonomy- making requests instead of demands, using conflict mediation instead of punishment, etc.
Self-determination involves 3 needs:
Autonomy – the agency to make decisions and own your life;
Interconnection – healthy supportive relationships; and
Competence – the skill and strength to do something really well.
All three of these mixed together creates liberation that many people can’t even comprehend, and even some of the few who have achieved it go around talking about parts of their journey that completely ignore self-determination, showing they are oblivious to it.
The real vicious truth here is that when a person lacks autonomy, and especially if they have been traumatized or damaged, they will strive for control to make up for the loss. It’s like trying to steal the autonomy of others, but many wannabe dictators don’t even realize this is the result of their actions. They just get blinded by the stress and trauma pushing them to try and make their environment clean, predictable, and in their power. It doesn’t work. Becoming intrinsically autonomous, self-determined, and skillful will give you the sense of liberation and inner peace to come to terms with the world around you, as it is.
Fiat (n): “An arbitrary or authoritative command to do something; an effectual decree.”
“Fiat money is currency that a government has declared to be legal tender, but it is not backed by a physical commodity. The value of fiat money is derived from the relationship between supply and demand rather than the value of the material from which the money is made.” – Investopedia
Here’s something amazing from the Conflict Resolution Center I now volunteer with:
“Conflict is often negatively attributed to adolescent development. The common belief is that the teenage brain is to blame. But the truth is, conflict is natural and inevitable and is neither positive nor negative; it is just a fact of human relationships across all age groups.”
– Conflict Resolution Center (Minneapolis)
It’s so profound to hear this, so casually and put simply, found unexpectedly. The countless times adolescents and kids are degraded and shocking levels of abuse justified through the mythical idea that the teen and child brain(s) are somehow inferior. Yes, it takes time to develop competence and skill. Incompetence and simplicity are NEVER excuses or sensible reasons for abuse. Most people have better standards for animals than youth in this regard.
It’s also extremely important to recognize how much a kid or teen’s development is shockingly hindered and damaged by abuse. So ironically the problem causing so much trauma and conflict – abuse and deprivation of self-determination – is suggested as the solution. ALL human beings regardless of age need (a) autonomy, (b) competence, and (c) interconnection. If one factor is missing, this drastically inhibits the other factors.
If you want to see a young person become more (b) competent, (c) support that is (a) respectful to their choices is the balancing key. If you really can’t have a (c) healthy relationship, the best thing to do is (a) nothing at all; leave them alone. Sometimes doing nothing is a noble and profound non-act.
If you dare to do nothing, to interrupt the ancient cycle of suffering and abuse, I will dare to do nothing with you. And we will be contributing peace by refusing to participate in the problem.
I’m serious about this, totally dedicated. I’m not sure what it would look like, but doing nothing seems easy enough? Especially when you have a Nothing Buddy to do it together. Contact me if you need someone to do nothing with together- firstname.lastname@example.org
This article corresponds with the video but is not a verbatim transcript. For timestamps see the time [0:00] at the top of each section throughout the article. Resources are linked chronologically throughout the piece. Additional resources not mentioned in the video are included chronologically and a full list is at the bottom. Continue reading “Jordan B. Peterson Doesn’t Understand Childhood Suffering”
Special thanks to Chase Gielda of OAM Meditation for thoroughly reviewing and editing Willpowerful. His contributions were significant in setting a direction for Willpowerful and widening the audience that can be reached, yet tailoring specifically to those audiences.
Summary: If you are a young person dreaming of the freedom to lead your own life, this guide can help. In this guide, wecelebrate the human will for independence. Yes, you are young, and yes- you have the right to own your life.
With determination and dedication, you have the chance to be free. You could be a leader in youth rights, if you step up to the challenge.
This booklet is licensed under Creative Commons – Attribution. The most current publication is attributed to Nemo Sundry. What’s New in the Update?
The new update’s primary changes are in the writing. We’ve replaced filler story with more pragmatic advice and laid it out step by step, especially experiences that aren’t obvious or transparent. We adjusted the language so it would make the most sense to the young people reading it, and connect with their real and evolving experiences. In focusing mostly on pragmatic advice, the final version is able to provide multiple examples to address choices relevant at younger ages, roughly 12-16, and as a person gets older, around 16-21. But autonomy (independence) is a universal need, so at whatever age a person begins the path, there’s something in Willpowerful for them. Cheers! Continue reading “Willpowerful: Independence in Adolescence”