Polyvagal Theory: True Trauma Healing

Polyvagal Theory has popped up as the unifying theory of the nervous system and trauma after about 60 years of discovery and treatments such as Somatic Experiencing. The best thing he says in this whole speech is at 19:05 –

 
“Trauma isn’t just psychological. It’s physiological.”
 
After recently coming to realize a shocking number of neurologists shuffle people off to be medicated by psychiatrists instead of actually treating people who have trauma properly, I’ve gone on a crusade to care for myself and spread resources more intensively. There are people less informed and stable than me, less lucky to have been through the other side of extreme trauma and still be in one piece.
 
Please share this with more people. Trauma is an immersive experience, and people who go through it are often too caught up in the experience to have awareness of what’s happening inside. They will think it’s happening in the world.
 
In my experience, healing trauma is the same as enlightenment. There can be variations on a theme, but I don’t say it lightly. The way you experience your body is not inherent or a default. It can change. The same energy that can be out of control and terrorizing can be a source of infinite power for good.
 

Somatic Experiencing: Wisdom in the Body

I discovered Somatic Experiencing almost 3 years ago and was impacted heavily by this documentary. Dr. Levine is brilliant. That being said, I struggled to utilize Somatic Experiencing on my own without an SE practitioner since most of my experiences were locked down by chronic fatigue (shut off, aka freeze or “playing dead”).

 
With the physical presence and keen observation of an SE practitioner, deep release and healing from trauma at the physical level can feel as profound as enlightenment. I’m gaining a much deeper understanding of how the body plays a huge role in our immersive experience and perception of life. Don’t downplay the complexity and wisdom in your body, it needs your care too.

The gateway to Being is through the body. Instead of reaching for liberation or enlightenment as if climbing a mountain, sink deeper inward, into your body. And just feel what you feel. Start right where you are now.

Self-Determination: The Path to Liberation

I’ve come to discover an archetypal root that explains the difference between liberated, peaceful people and corrupt authoritarians. The root is self-determinationThe start of self-determination is autonomy, so the individual must claim his autonomy and aim to grow his strength in acting on it. And others must respect his autonomy- making requests instead of demands, using conflict mediation instead of punishment, etc.

Self-determination involves 3 needs:
Autonomy – the agency to make decisions and own your life;
Interconnection – healthy supportive relationships; and
Competence – the skill and strength to do something really well.

All three of these mixed together creates liberation that many people can’t even comprehend, and even some of the few who have achieved it go around talking about parts of their journey that completely ignore self-determination, showing they are oblivious to it.

The real vicious truth here is that when a person lacks autonomy, and especially if they have been traumatized or damaged, they will strive for control to make up for the loss. It’s like trying to steal the autonomy of others, but many wannabe dictators don’t even realize this is the result of their actions. They just get blinded by the stress and trauma pushing them to try and make their environment clean, predictable, and in their power. It doesn’t work. Becoming intrinsically autonomous, self-determined, and skillful will give you the sense of liberation and inner peace to come to terms with the world around you, as it is.

Continue reading “Self-Determination: The Path to Liberation”

Admit Powerlessness to Become Liberated

At the end of 2016 I experienced a slow grinding downfall into a place of entangled, dysfunctional darkness and suffering. It was not so much a process of suffering more and getting worse, but more like lifting a veil and recognizing what was already there.

Continue reading “Admit Powerlessness to Become Liberated”

Fear Becoming Wisdom

“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth” – Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart

***

People cover up evil, idolize beauty, and entirely ignore true peace – the ordinary.

The more things are exposed and we begin to see that disaster and evil and corruption can happen anywhere, committed by anyone, the more trust is eroded and we become wild dogs in the night, lurking and looking so cautiously around every corner ready to
jump at the slightest sound of a threat.
Continue reading “Fear Becoming Wisdom”

a prisoner and the warden speak

I celebrate everyday, for I am weightless.
I rejoice everyday, for I wake up alive,
and I get to play this game

A rare and beautiful gem,
a life that never happened before,
and will never happen again

I am the ripple in the water- brief and ageless

I am the smoke dissolving
try to grab me and I disappear
you can’t control me;
there is nothing to fear

let me go, then I can stay
when you allow everything to be,
it doesn’t have to go away

desire and rage cloud vision unclear,
gripped by your body’s being
when there’s nothing left to fear,
your ego fears the nothing

but I’ll tell you friend,
loss is liberation,
and liberation is your destiny

You tried to place me in a cage,
propelled by your lifelong misery,
yet I am resting here at peace,

so I ask of you, which of us is really free?

In the Name of Youth Autonomy! Dare to Do Nothing

Here’s something amazing from the Conflict Resolution Center I now volunteer with:
 
“Conflict is often negatively attributed to adolescent development. The common belief is that the teenage brain is to blame. But the truth is, conflict is natural and inevitable and is neither positive nor negative; it is just a fact of human relationships across all age groups.”
Conflict Resolution Center (Minneapolis)
 
It’s so profound to hear this, so casually and put simply, found unexpectedly. The countless times adolescents and kids are degraded and shocking levels of abuse justified through the mythical idea that the teen and child brain(s) are somehow inferior. Yes, it takes time to develop competence and skill. Incompetence and simplicity are NEVER excuses or sensible reasons for abuse. Most people have better standards for animals than youth in this regard.
 
It’s also extremely important to recognize how much a kid or teen’s development is shockingly hindered and damaged by abuse. So ironically the problem causing so much trauma and conflict – abuse and deprivation of self-determination – is suggested as the solution. ALL human beings regardless of age need (a) autonomy, (b) competence, and (c) interconnection. If one factor is missing, this drastically inhibits the other factors.

If you want to see a young person become more (b) competent, (c) support that is (a) respectful to their choices is the balancing key. If you really can’t have a (c) healthy relationship, the best thing to do is (a) nothing at all; leave them alone. Sometimes doing nothing is a noble and profound non-act.

 
If you dare to do nothing, to interrupt the ancient cycle of suffering and abuse, I will dare to do nothing with you. And we will be contributing peace by refusing to participate in the problem.

I’m serious about this, totally dedicated. I’m not sure what it would look like, but doing nothing seems easy enough? Especially when you have a Nothing Buddy to do it together. Contact me if you need someone to do nothing with together- nemosundry@gmail.com