Polyvagal Theory has popped up as the unifying theory of the nervous system and trauma after about 60 years of discovery and treatments such as Somatic Experiencing. The best thing he says in this whole speech is at 19:05 –
I discovered Somatic Experiencing almost 3 years ago and was impacted heavily by this documentary. Dr. Levine is brilliant. That being said, I struggled to utilize Somatic Experiencing on my own without an SE practitioner since most of my experiences were locked down by chronic fatigue (shut off, aka freeze or “playing dead”).
The gateway to Being is through the body. Instead of reaching for liberation or enlightenment as if climbing a mountain, sink deeper inward, into your body. And just feel what you feel. Start right where you are now.
I’ve come to discover an archetypal root that explains the difference between liberated, peaceful people and corrupt authoritarians. The root is self-determination. The start of self-determination is autonomy, so the individual must claim his autonomy and aim to grow his strength in acting on it. And others must respect his autonomy- making requests instead of demands, using conflict mediation instead of punishment, etc.
Self-determination involves 3 needs:
Autonomy – the agency to make decisions and own your life;
Interconnection – healthy supportive relationships; and
Competence – the skill and strength to do something really well.
All three of these mixed together creates liberation that many people can’t even comprehend, and even some of the few who have achieved it go around talking about parts of their journey that completely ignore self-determination, showing they are oblivious to it.
The real vicious truth here is that when a person lacks autonomy, and especially if they have been traumatized or damaged, they will strive for control to make up for the loss. It’s like trying to steal the autonomy of others, but many wannabe dictators don’t even realize this is the result of their actions. They just get blinded by the stress and trauma pushing them to try and make their environment clean, predictable, and in their power. It doesn’t work. Becoming intrinsically autonomous, self-determined, and skillful will give you the sense of liberation and inner peace to come to terms with the world around you, as it is.
At the end of 2016 I experienced a slow grinding downfall into a place of entangled, dysfunctional darkness and suffering. It was not so much a process of suffering more and getting worse, but more like lifting a veil and recognizing what was already there.
“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth” – Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart
People cover up evil, idolize beauty, and entirely ignore true peace – the ordinary.
The more things are exposed and we begin to see that disaster and evil and corruption can happen anywhere, committed by anyone, the more trust is eroded and we become wild dogs in the night, lurking and looking so cautiously around every corner ready to
jump at the slightest sound of a threat.
Continue reading “Fear Becoming Wisdom”
I celebrate everyday, for I am weightless.
I rejoice everyday, for I wake up alive,
and I get to play this game
A rare and beautiful gem,
a life that never happened before,
and will never happen again
I am the ripple in the water- brief and ageless
I am the smoke dissolving
try to grab me and I disappear
you can’t control me;
there is nothing to fear
let me go, then I can stay
when you allow everything to be,
it doesn’t have to go away
desire and rage cloud vision unclear,
gripped by your body’s being
when there’s nothing left to fear,
your ego fears the nothing
but I’ll tell you friend,
loss is liberation,
and liberation is your destiny
You tried to place me in a cage,
propelled by your lifelong misery,
yet I am resting here at peace,
so I ask of you, which of us is really free?
– Conflict Resolution Center (Minneapolis)
If you want to see a young person become more (b) competent, (c) support that is (a) respectful to their choices is the balancing key. If you really can’t have a (c) healthy relationship, the best thing to do is (a) nothing at all; leave them alone. Sometimes doing nothing is a noble and profound non-act.
I’m serious about this, totally dedicated. I’m not sure what it would look like, but doing nothing seems easy enough? Especially when you have a Nothing Buddy to do it together. Contact me if you need someone to do nothing with together- email@example.com