Authentic REAL discipline is a very personal and internal process, arguably in tune with the path of dissolution, culminating in enlightenment. The development of self-control in human beings happens in childhood through the kid’s independent interaction with the world around them. When people talk about “disciplining” kids it’s as an outsider coming in and hurting another person to punish them into doing something. This is so profoundly damaging, and most of all it is damaging to the kid’s inner sense of self-control and discipline.
Continue reading “Parental “Discipline” Damages Kids’ Development of Self-Control”
I see many people with trauma respond to that pent up energy by funneling it into an ideology that makes them feel safe and comfortable. There is politicization of trauma today, and in the words of Marshall Rosenberg (nonviolent communication), this is a “tragic expression of unmet needs, tragic because it is said in the way that makes it unlikely others will want to or be able to meet those needs.”
Continue reading “When Trauma Becomes Political”
When you discover how difficult some things can be, how crippling and how Deep Dark, that’s when you believe what you thought was powerful is all a sham. But sometimes it’s just showing you why something is really powerful. Get used to the dark. What’s powerful is not always light, the light could be a crutch. What’s powerful is allowing you to live in the dark, and transmute it on your own.
That is the path to self-determination.
Art: “Learning to live with the noises” by Hoopoe Aftonmåne
I’ve come to discover an archetypal root that explains the difference between liberated, peaceful people and corrupt authoritarians. The root is self-determination. The start of self-determination is autonomy, so the individual must claim his autonomy and aim to grow his strength in acting on it. And others must respect his autonomy- making requests instead of demands, using conflict mediation instead of punishment, etc.
Self-determination involves 3 needs:
Autonomy – the agency to make decisions and own your life;
Interconnection – healthy supportive relationships; and
Competence – the skill and strength to do something really well.
All three of these mixed together creates liberation that many people can’t even comprehend, and even some of the few who have achieved it go around talking about parts of their journey that completely ignore self-determination, showing they are oblivious to it.
The real vicious truth here is that when a person lacks autonomy, and especially if they have been traumatized or damaged, they will strive for control to make up for the loss. It’s like trying to steal the autonomy of others, but many wannabe dictators don’t even realize this is the result of their actions. They just get blinded by the stress and trauma pushing them to try and make their environment clean, predictable, and in their power. It doesn’t work. Becoming intrinsically autonomous, self-determined, and skillful will give you the sense of liberation and inner peace to come to terms with the world around you, as it is.
Continue reading “Self-Determination: The Path to Liberation”