How to Transform and Survive the Worst Conflict

I’ve been immersed in conflict. It’s part of life, but for some people more than others. I even got trained as a conflict mediator, which was one of the biggest investments I’ve ever made, to try and deal with powerless situations, and so many of them seem to be created out of nothing. I’ve lost so much, and I can’t believe what kind of person I am coming out of this. Battle scarred, given a 2nd chance.

And with new people giving me real opportunities to lead community events on play and healing trauma. And one damn good friend working on a secret project with me that could make a radical impact on the world. An employment counseling program that saved my life, with new friends who are completely authentic and appreciate my authenticity. I’ve been shrouded and nearly suffocating in the worst horror while dragging myself up to the light of miracles I never would have imagined or believed.

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Free Speech is a Cultural Value

Free Speech
From XKCD

This comic is absurd but unintentionally reveals the core flaw in people who reject free speech (who may not even realize they’re doing it). I’m amazed that there are so many people who reduce it to government and laws and don’t at all consider it primarily a cultural value.

The aim for free speech is to create an environment with a trustful reputation, so over time it becomes clear that any one of us will be able to speak with each other, especially about important issues, without fear of being punished, hurt or ostracized.

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Mapping Allison’s Wonderland

AllisonsWonderland
a picture drawn by Allison

Allison Bailey was one of my best friends. She died very suddenly on December 29, 2018 only 6 months ago. Recently I realized just how important our shared idea was, that she called Resource Community. Today I’m bringing the pieces together, in the name of her legacy and creating something that would have met a profound need for both of us.
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Resource Network Map [Protoype]

Here is the original design of the interactive community map tool that would later evolve into Resource Community, a collaborative map website co-founded by myself and my close friend Allison Bailey. Find the full Color & Icon Key below.

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Parental “Discipline” Damages Kids’ Development of Self-Control

Authentic REAL discipline is a very personal and internal process, arguably in tune with the path of dissolution, culminating in enlightenment. The development of self-control in human beings happens in childhood through the kid’s independent interaction with the world around them. When people talk about “disciplining” kids it’s as an outsider coming in and hurting another person to punish them into doing something. This is so profoundly damaging, and most of all it is damaging to the kid’s inner sense of self-control and discipline.
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When Trauma Becomes Political

I see many people with trauma respond to that pent up energy by funneling it into an ideology that makes them feel safe and comfortable. There is politicization of trauma today, and in the words of Marshall Rosenberg (nonviolent communication), this is a “tragic expression of unmet needs, tragic because it is said in the way that makes it unlikely others will want to or be able to meet those needs.”
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embracing Deep Dark

hoopoeart1When you discover how difficult some things can be, how crippling and how Deep Dark, that’s when you believe what you thought was powerful is all a sham. But sometimes it’s just showing you why something is really powerful. Get used to the dark. What’s powerful is not always light, the light could be a crutch. What’s powerful is allowing you to live in the dark, and transmute it on your own.

That is the path to self-determination.

 

Art: “Learning to live with the noises” by Hoopoe Aftonmåne