everything in its right place

your suffering will be a great friend to you.
It will be there as long as you need it.
Your suffering is a small dog lost in the wild.
It needs your love and your recognition.
It has been divorced from you, it is unconscious.

Reunite, recognize you are already here,
and there is no problem.

Will you be the friend to your suffering as it has been to you?
Will you be willing to be with it as long as it needs you?
Allow it to live, and it will be ready to die.

Recognizing a Speeding Train

It’s a tragedy of our culture now to witness it fracturing, through people unable to relate beyond their ideology. All of my friends are so different from each other, but I realize now they have one thing in common. The ability to actually accept me. And for that, I continue to believe my self-determination depends on the self-determination of all who seek it.
To feel the looming presence of a very heavy moral weight shadow my every move now, I know not where to turn next. I too was born into the middle of the story, many generations after many people made moral sacrifices and choices very different from what I would have done.

The train is speeding towards a cliff, and I’m beginning to realize how much it continues because the passengers want it to, not because they are intimidated by the driver. I wonder if I am the only passenger that even knows what is really happening. If I ask anyone, some people deny it’s true, other people say the train is supposed to go off the cliff; others say the driver is the reason we’re saved. And still, most people turn away and look out the window at the trees.

I didn’t build the train, I’ve never met the driver. None of the passengers invented the tracks or travel. Yet here we’ve been born, we live and die, our lives determined by everything built before it. And we will gift the inheritance of our actions to our children.

And then in a moment on an ordinary day, I put my hand to the window and it popped open, and I became friends with the wind. I could jump off the train and see if there was something beyond the door.

My enemies’ success is my success, my failure is my enemies’ failure. If the only reason the passengers turn and look away is because everyone is doing it, let me be one less person to do the wrong thing. To be a victim in this existence. I am liberated and embracing the visceral uncertainty in my life, and the likelihood of things falling apart. It is a worthy life to live, in complete willingness to do what is right, even if I am the only one.

dissolving the problem

so you try to solve a problem, but you don’t know what it is.
When you see this, you say, “hmm that’s a problem.”

so you try to solve a problem, but you don’t know what it is.
When you see this, you say, “hmm that’s a problem.”

so you try to solve a problem, but you don’t know what it is.
when you see this, you say, “have I been here before?”

In the Name of Youth Autonomy! Dare to Do Nothing

Here’s something amazing from the Conflict Resolution Center I now volunteer with:
“Conflict is often negatively attributed to adolescent development. The common belief is that the teenage brain is to blame. But the truth is, conflict is natural and inevitable and is neither positive nor negative; it is just a fact of human relationships across all age groups.”
Conflict Resolution Center (Minneapolis)
It’s so profound to hear this, so casually and put simply, found unexpectedly. The countless times adolescents and kids are degraded and shocking levels of abuse justified through the mythical idea that the teen and child brain(s) are somehow inferior. Yes, it takes time to develop competence and skill. Incompetence and simplicity are NEVER excuses or sensible reasons for abuse. Most people have better standards for animals than youth in this regard.
It’s also extremely important to recognize how much a kid or teen’s development is shockingly hindered and damaged by abuse. So ironically the problem causing so much trauma and conflict – abuse and deprivation of self-determination – is suggested as the solution. ALL human beings regardless of age need (a) autonomy, (b) competence, and (c) interconnection. If one factor is missing, this drastically inhibits the other factors.

If you want to see a young person become more (b) competent, (c) support that is (a) respectful to their choices is the balancing key. If you really can’t have a (c) healthy relationship, the best thing to do is (a) nothing at all; leave them alone. Sometimes doing nothing is a noble and profound non-act.

If you dare to do nothing, to interrupt the ancient cycle of suffering and abuse, I will dare to do nothing with you. And we will be contributing peace by refusing to participate in the problem.

I’m serious about this, totally dedicated. I’m not sure what it would look like, but doing nothing seems easy enough? Especially when you have a Nothing Buddy to do it together. Contact me if you need someone to do nothing with together- nemosundry@gmail.com

Liberation: Say No to Dictators

How is it that so many people are simultaneously living in fear, don’t care about their actual life, and give up their rights and autonomy at the slightest demand from the smallest dictator?

Millions of people and growing depressed, depression is becoming survival of the fittest the more people choose life the prison when they so desperately avoid any kind of loss and fear death itself. Liberation comes by letting this all die. Death is liberation.

Everything changes, this is birth and death, constantly. Life is the cycle of birth and death. Cut off half the equation and you have the prison of nonexistence.

You thought that without life, there could be no autonomy. But the truth is, without autonomy, there is no life.

Purpose: Reconcile Life and Death

I haven’t felt like this since I found out about Booth Brown and that I could live independently as a teenager. That I could liberate myself. It was the kind of do or die that reconciles life and death as a whole, that takes the dichotomy of “life versus death” survival and transmutes it into fearless consciousness. Where this vulnerable dance with danger and the un-gauranteed is the best life to live, and the only one we have.

I’ve been in Deep Dark a long time; it’s been my shadow and a friend.

Continue reading “Purpose: Reconcile Life and Death”