fundamental restlessness

You can try to fix a problem whether you drink peppermint tea or alcohol- different problems, different solutions. This is a game to play, one of many games you can play in life. But don’t expect the outcome to resolve your fundamental restlessness- this is the grand illusion. If you play a different game, one called Observation, you might notice this.
 
You might notice Observation can liberate you from the same cycle. How could you leave a cycle if you can’t see it fully? But again, don’t be tricked. You can’t play the game of Observation to fix your fundamental restlessness, because fixing is what caused the restlessness in the first place.

Self-Determination: The Path to Liberation

I’ve come to discover an archetypal root that explains the difference between liberated, peaceful people and corrupt authoritarians. The root is self-determinationThe start of self-determination is autonomy, so the individual must claim his autonomy and aim to grow his strength in acting on it. And others must respect his autonomy- making requests instead of demands, using conflict mediation instead of punishment, etc.

Self-determination involves 3 needs:
Autonomy – the agency to make decisions and own your life;
Interconnection – healthy supportive relationships; and
Competence – the skill and strength to do something really well.

All three of these mixed together creates liberation that many people can’t even comprehend, and even some of the few who have achieved it go around talking about parts of their journey that completely ignore self-determination, showing they are oblivious to it.

The real vicious truth here is that when a person lacks autonomy, and especially if they have been traumatized or damaged, they will strive for control to make up for the loss. It’s like trying to steal the autonomy of others, but many wannabe dictators don’t even realize this is the result of their actions. They just get blinded by the stress and trauma pushing them to try and make their environment clean, predictable, and in their power. It doesn’t work. Becoming intrinsically autonomous, self-determined, and skillful will give you the sense of liberation and inner peace to come to terms with the world around you, as it is.

Continue reading “Self-Determination: The Path to Liberation”

That Which is Immune to Corruption

People need to realize both Bob Ross and Mr. Rogers were previously in active military roles before doing their TV shows. Imagine then watching them do as they do on TV, for so many years, being present with the art (Ross), being present with kids and a variety of people (Rogers), all while having experienced the kind of consuming total brutality of the military lifestyle, and especially war.

And even while on TV both Ross and rogers did radical things in mainstream and standardized contexts.

 
I realize that in most cases if you have a particularly wild message connected to the most intrinsic wisdom, that it will be incredibly simple. It will be simple and consistent, untouched by changing times and all the disasters that surround it.

You will be surrounded by people doing things that are bad, stupid, or even terribly wrong and horrible. The struggle is to find a pure method, immune to corruption, to show the light to anyone able to witness. How do you become immune to corruption?

I have a hunch, and I’ll follow it through until I see what I’ve found. I have a hunch it has to do with fear and how you respond. I’m not going to run away, I’ll witness it all, and will expose everything to the light. If the light reaches the people who need it and want it most, I’ll be invincible even if annihilated.

Admit Powerlessness to Become Liberated

At the end of 2016 I experienced a slow grinding downfall into a place of entangled, dysfunctional darkness and suffering. It was not so much a process of suffering more and getting worse, but more like lifting a veil and recognizing what was already there.

Continue reading “Admit Powerlessness to Become Liberated”

Fear Becoming Wisdom

“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth” – Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart

***

People cover up evil, idolize beauty, and entirely ignore true peace – the ordinary.

The more things are exposed and we begin to see that disaster and evil and corruption can happen anywhere, committed by anyone, the more trust is eroded and we become wild dogs in the night, lurking and looking so cautiously around every corner ready to
jump at the slightest sound of a threat.
Continue reading “Fear Becoming Wisdom”

a prisoner and the warden speak

I celebrate everyday, for I am weightless.
I rejoice everyday, for I wake up alive,
and I get to play this game

A rare and beautiful gem,
a life that never happened before,
and will never happen again

I am the ripple in the water- brief and ageless

I am the smoke dissolving
try to grab me and I disappear
you can’t control me;
there is nothing to fear

let me go, then I can stay
when you allow everything to be,
it doesn’t have to go away

desire and rage cloud vision unclear,
gripped by your body’s being
when there’s nothing left to fear,
your ego fears the nothing

but I’ll tell you friend,
loss is liberation,
and liberation is your destiny

You tried to place me in a cage,
propelled by your lifelong misery,
yet I am resting here at peace,

so I ask of you, which of us is really free?

losing weight

I’m having a lot of fun playing the game of life recently having transcended an intensely close relationship with my own suffering, which has been the unfolding tale of the last almost two years. One of my favorite things to do in playing the game of life now is helping friends and people in my daily life. I’ve had future roommates meet in mutliple circumstances, connected friends to resources who are struggling, connected friends to good jobs and helped with resumés, have conducted research for causes friends are passionate about, have shared music and gratitude and listening to those who need it, and this is only the beginning!
 
A life worth living. Please, join me ~

I’ll be there with your storms and your sunny days. I’ll be the friend who loves to play, rain or shine, sleet or hail. The light within will never fail. Obscured by fog in the night, burned and thrown from the nest, groundless and turned inside out, upside down. Buried in ages of sand and grit. Uncovered again and tossed in the ocean, lost at sea. Found on shore on a new foreign plain.

Wherever the gem of buddha nature is thrown, it always stays the same. Brilliant and undamaged, your wisdom is underneath. Under all crushing suffocating experiences of no escape and groundless confusion, beneath all addictive habits imprisoning your life in a deterministic fever dream,

timeless ageless buddha nature is your companion. It is who you really are. Imagine if I could be so lucky as to be in your presence. I’d want nothing less, and nothing more.

 
Only the one who loses is weightless enough to fly.