violence will become healing and art, eventually, inevitably. It’s the nature of change. It happens, and is the most likely outcome. So next time you take action violently, know that you will have no power over what it becomes in the world. It takes a long time for this transformation- so don’t be fooled as if it will be easy. On a long winding path that is unexpected, confusing, painful, deeply burning. As if the phoenix looks you in the eye and says “you and I are one of the same. When you are ready, you will become me. The fire ignites when you are ready to surrender to death with know assurance you will be reborn.” Rebirth happens after the silence.
matter is neither created nor destroyed.
Nemo Sundry | Feb 16, 2020
At the end of 2016 I had my first dissolution, what many people see as ego-death. After that I wrote in one go a short book called Transmutations of Deep Dark, still unpublished. The idea is, Deep Dark is the place so ugly, gross and horrifying, when you encounter it you run away before you even know you’re running. A song I wrote shortly after that, my second ever with lyrics, goes like this:
“run from fear you do, fear is the running, chasing translucent desires, anaerobic suffering… under the underneath, thunder from your heartbeat, close your eyes and you will see, the shadow will set you free… go around the world, there’s nowhere left to run”
Continue reading “Transmutations of Deep Dark [revisited]”
I just got accepted to the Northstar Youth Worker Fellowship 2019-20! This is one of the most profound breakthroughs in my life, and absolutely in the last 3 years. It’s equally a miracle that I have this in the aftermath of one of the most insane destructive houses I’ve lived in, on top of my 2 new jobs in the field. The following article is relaying half of my replies to the application questions (the relevant ones). I just reread everything and put it all together in the bigger picture, realizing that the research topic I’ve chosen overall is based on the practical study and application of my universal philosophy, Intrinsic Abundance. It should become apparent as the story unfolds that this isn’t just a profound opportunity for me, but for so many more people.
It is the potential for astounding transformation and opening gateways to self-determination that even I can’t imagine.
I’m not letting anything get in the way of my unrelenting dedication to exploring this philosophy.
Continue reading “Intrinsic Abundance and Economic Empowerment of Youth”
I know the feeling of showing up and feeling stagnant, feeling lopsided, uncomfortable, pain, being overwhelmed. I know the tension of showing up vulnerably in person after being scarred. I know that after self-isolation for not long at all, even a day or two, it can feel like absolute shit to go out in the world and be with people. To show up in the midst of the storm, off-center, confused, distracted, deprived, can feel dumb, meaningless, as if it’s just not worth it.
But I’m here to say that’s an illusion. When you show up and feel these emotions and physical disruption, it’s shaking up what’s been stagnated and becoming aware of what’s already there. In fact, self-isolating, numbing out, escaping in the same pattern, over-indulging, hedonism, that’s what actually creates this junk residue within you. Getting out in the world awakens feeling, and you actually begin the hangover- the detox.
Continue reading “because your presence alone is a miracle.”