Articles

Self-Determination: the Primary Colors of Needs

The three needs of Self-Determination aren’t just important alone, or even in a group together. It’s when the three are combined, that they make something entirely new.

Primary Needs:
RED 1. Autonomy
BLUE 2. Competence
YELLOW 3. Interconnection

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Mapping Allison’s Wonderland

AllisonsWonderland
a picture drawn by Allison

Allison Bailey was one of my best friends. She died very suddenly on December 29, 2018 only 6 months ago. Recently I realized just how important our shared idea was, that she called Resource Community. Today I’m bringing the pieces together, in the name of her legacy and creating something that would have met a profound need for both of us.
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Resource Network Map [Protoype]

Here is the original design of the interactive community map tool that would later evolve into Resource Community, a collaborative map website co-founded by myself and my close friend Allison Bailey. Find the full Color & Icon Key below.

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Wise Existing is Enough

The reason I never give up is because I want to make the path so it will be that much easier for people like me who come after me, to live the meaningful life within their own values. The culture got sick because surviving and getting beyond survival is brutal and traumatizing. The culture only stays sick because people who have actually discovered healing, transformative wisdom give up.
 
Without wisdom, life is purposeless and complicated and creates suffering.

With wisdom, life is hard but simple, and what suffering is here becomes the source of transformation.
 
I’ve realized that when you can’t actually DO anything to make a change, not doing the action that is evil is the most heroic action possible. To do nothing at all. And though you have no influence over others’ resistant beliefs, exposure to your divergent beliefs and values is enough. There will always be one or two people who hear who are struck just enough there’s a crack in the shell. And others who fully resonate with you who were hiding in plain sight. It’s sometimes very few people, but it is those few who must be completely unrelenting just in their willingness to keep existing and being the example that creates the opportunity for those in the future.

Everything starts with the first of many.

Choosing Character Over Success

Below is my comment response to the video – Interview on Meaning, Masculinity and Responsibility with Neil Smedley & Iman Amrani of The Guardian.

The greatest flaw in focus on “success” is that it distracts us from a proper focus on character. A person of great character who lives through tragedy and failure, especially outside of his own control, is an important story. Too many people get attached to the success story and don’t bother to consider the character of the person they follow. And if some of those people get far enough down that path to discover it has no rooted meaning, that can be a real existential crisis.

One of the best people I met aimed to get as much of his resources as possible from within his own being. And after all the ways my life has been dragged through the mud due to others being unstable and unreliable, I really have no interest in the success story, especially from people who don’t understand sorrow, anger, grief- the reactions to tragedy and evil. With yin and yang, if you blind yourself to the dark parts of the world and life, you’re missing an integral half of the recipe for meaning and purpose.

After losing everything, all I have left is the proof of my character, the fact that I survived, and the chance to start over again.

The Overwhelming Mystery of Existence, and the Choice to Be a Friend in the Flurry of Deep Dark

Explanation of This Article
This is a story that may be hard to comprehend. It’s written chaotically, representing the strange experience of reality. It represents constant change, the unpredictable nature of living and consciousness. The mystery of how huge and strange the universe is and not knowing if there is an “end”. And it ties into the chaos of living as a human being in this life, how little control you have over anything, and yet the opportunity to play life as a game and attain self-determination. A game where, if there is suffering, disaster, and things fall the fuck apart…
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Direct Community Action > Political Control

I don’t touch politics with a 10-foot pole. So many people around me are desperate for control and get into politics to achieve their goals in changing the world, convinced it will be for the better regardless of how accurate that is, or if they have the skill to make it happen. They usually don’t since by the time you get to politics, you’ve hit rock bottom and have to bully people to get something done. And I empathize with the sorrow of “Mass Chronic Apathy”, where people in your direct vicinity and even through deeper searching mostly don’t give a fuck, are unstable, don’t show up, and don’t put in the work.

It’s hard to motivate people, but if you know anything about Self-Determination, you know that intrinsic motivation requires autonomy, competence, and interconnection- almost always in that order. Threatening people’s autonomy is the quickest way to repel half of them, and take advantage of the rest who are easily manipulated into outrage, neglecting to dig deeper in learning about reality.

Time and time again, the path of ego-corruption is through this desperation for achieving the goal above all else, even if it means sabotaging and destroying the goal itself, and associating this corruption with one’s most deeply held beliefs.

If you want to actually play a role that is meaningful and makes an impact on others’ lives, start with yourself. Care for yourself in the way that allows you to be dedicated, consistent, healthy and open to gaining wisdom. Then look for opportunities in your neighborhood(s) and immediate friends, family and neighbors in your vicinity- this requires vulnerability and the immediate willingness to just go out and FUCKING DO IT, even if you learn through experimentation and have to improve your skills over time.

Meet in person, show up every time, and only make a reasonable and small commitment to start. From there you can grow. Take OWNERSHIP of your life and opportunities, enough with this “I’m so desperate and can’t accept my starting position or reality so I’m gonna bash people’s heads in with new laws that don’t change anything”. A law passed by government is NOT the same as the Laws of Physics that define our natural world. We don’t make the laws of physics, we don’t control total reality.

Most laws either take credit for the achievements of people directly dedicating their lives in their own communities, OR the laws bully, harass, hurt and imprison and even kill people to try and force something impossible to be true. It breaks my heart that so many people are so desperate they can’t bear to accept the reality that you have no control over other people, or anything else but yourself and you own choices. You feel powerless as one person yet don’t even value the autonomy you have over your own life, and throw it away in the name of “justice”.

Is that the life worth living?