because your presence alone is a miracle.

I know the feeling of showing up and feeling stagnant, feeling lopsided, uncomfortable, pain, being overwhelmed. I know the tension of showing up vulnerably in person after being scarred. I know that after self-isolation for not long at all, even a day or two, it can feel like absolute shit to go out in the world and be with people. To show up in the midst of the storm, off-center, confused, distracted, deprived, can feel dumb, meaningless, as if it’s just not worth it.

But I’m here to say that’s an illusion. When you show up and feel these emotions and physical disruption, it’s shaking up what’s been stagnated and becoming aware of what’s already there. In fact, self-isolating, numbing out, escaping in the same pattern, over-indulging, hedonism, that’s what actually creates this junk residue within you. Getting out in the world awakens feeling, and you actually begin the hangover- the detox.
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How to Transform and Survive the Worst Conflict

I’ve been immersed in conflict. It’s part of life, but for some people more than others. I even got trained as a conflict mediator, which was one of the biggest investments I’ve ever made, to try and deal with powerless situations, and so many of them seem to be created out of nothing. I’ve lost so much, and I can’t believe what kind of person I am coming out of this. Battle scarred, given a 2nd chance.

And with new people giving me real opportunities to lead community events on play and healing trauma. And one damn good friend working on a secret project with me that could make a radical impact on the world. An employment counseling program that saved my life, with new friends who are completely authentic and appreciate my authenticity. I’ve been shrouded and nearly suffocating in the worst horror while dragging myself up to the light of miracles I never would have imagined or believed.

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Free Speech is a Cultural Value

Free Speech
From XKCD

This comic is absurd but unintentionally reveals the core flaw in people who reject free speech (who may not even realize they’re doing it). I’m amazed that there are so many people who reduce it to government and laws and don’t at all consider it primarily a cultural value.

The aim for free speech is to create an environment with a trustful reputation, so over time it becomes clear that any one of us will be able to speak with each other, especially about important issues, without fear of being punished, hurt or ostracized.

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The Big Short: Divorcing Economy from Autonomy

I watched the documentary after this movie, The Big Short. The guys in charge of the government positions that controlled money like the Federal Reserve all seemed to be desperate and clueless on how to help the American people. Because pretend value was created out of nothing, and we live in a weird world where we can temporarily offset the cost of creating resources and pay for it later. But if the “resource” created is shit or not even real, when the bill comes in, we can’t pay. And before this ability to offset, if you can’t pay you don’t get the resource. That’s basic poverty. For an explanation of The Big Short and the housing crisis watch this video.
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Self-Determination: the Primary Colors of Needs

The three needs of Self-Determination aren’t just important alone, or even in a group together. It’s when the three are combined, that they make something entirely new.

Primary Needs:
RED 1. Autonomy
BLUE 2. Competence
YELLOW 3. Interconnection

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Mapping Allison’s Wonderland

AllisonsWonderland
a picture drawn by Allison

Allison Bailey was one of my best friends. She died very suddenly on December 29, 2018 only 6 months ago. Recently I realized just how important our shared idea was, that she called Resource Community. Today I’m bringing the pieces together, in the name of her legacy and creating something that would have met a profound need for both of us.
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Resource Network Map [Protoype]

Here is the original design of the interactive community map tool that would later evolve into Resource Community, a collaborative map website co-founded by myself and my close friend Allison Bailey. Find the full Color & Icon Key below.

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