There may be no deeper suffering than reaching for purpose and meaning while everyone around you gets away with corruption. Some of the deeper satisfaction I’ve found through this struggle is to become the living example of truth and empowerment that exposes their corruption and evil. It cannot be denied. They can lie to themselves, but to the outside world they will be exposed as corrupted and cruel. Their facade will crumble. I’m employing the Aleksander Sholzenitsyn method. And I’m in a far better position that he was- writing in secret, questioning everything he dedicated his life to, while starving with cancer in a Gulag.
A deep letting go and shift in perspective like this is painful. But when I imagine what I could leave behind that will truly last, and could reach people who feel alone in their dreams, their morals, and I could be a light in their dark, I see that my struggling alone is not just a tragedy, but a miracle.
For those few of us who feel this way, if even two of us found each other and started something new, it would be rare and beautiful. I don’t say any of this to force positivity, but just the opposite in being willing to see the darkness, and respond to what is. I’m glad you’re here.
Nemo Sundry | June 2021