Hollow and Alone

So many people don’t care about each other and are hollow from isolation, yet this is a self-sustaining paradox. So often invisible. I see it very clearly, I see I could become hollow too. I don’t want to continue the cycle.

I’ve discovered, when old archaic illusions finally crumble, that doing nothing is a profound and shockingly painful choice- a pain that feels like unwilling death; a noble sacrifice quietly when instead you could be doing something toxic or evil.

Imagine if I were one less person leaving that imprint. A unique fingerprint that shows me as its author, author of spreading infectious harm and tragedy. I don’t have to do it again.

I keep looking around and the majority of both tragic and toxically destructive situations are caused by series of terrible, and blind decisions by regular people. I’ve yet to find evidence of willful evil, where someone would do it for its own sake. Even revenge has another motive; desperation for empathy – to feel their pain.

Gateways have remained pristine and closed; I will have to find another path. Maybe a path of letting go.

♦ ♣ ♦

An image captured my soul again;
it sold me to a demon I called my only friend
which tore out my heart and ripped me apart;
I said everything is as it should be
everything is as it should be

everything is as it will be,
in the end

Nemo | 7 May 2018

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