My ego can feel like almost entirely addictiveness, and it’s a prison. I realized today after getting hooked into that prison again, in my case the prison of computer addiction, that I would rather be in a “real” prison, physically, than to be in this prison within my body and deterministic reactions. What a terrifying recognition, a kind of fear that feels like love and honesty, that allows me to fall apart. Pema feels like a long time friend, who reminds me of gratitude.
Now is the best time to surrender, to surrender again and be present. Sometimes, this is called meditation.